Banditos By the Bay - Belize

Let's remember why we are here, do not let the tropical paradise of Belize fool you into thinking that you are going to get great food, served up by sexy natives in not more than a thong as you exit the boat at the port.  You won't Belize this one!

Thinking that we would enjoy the local fare as we exit the tender after the 15 minute ride from our cruise ship, we stepped into Banditos By The Bay - YAY!

 At first glance, you see a fun looking dock style bar, hear Caribbean steel drums (later to find out this came from a digital sound machine in the corner), and a list of some of the most wild drinks anywhere.

Being the refined diner that I am, I immediately ordered "The Panty Ripper".  How bad could that be? After all, that could always lead to "Sex On The Beach", right?  WRONG!  The drink was terribly sweet and almost had a thickened texture, which when you drink it, and then remember the name, you almost throw up a little in your mouth.

 I quickly pushed my cocktail aside and read the shear poetry that was the menu.  Please notice the condition of the menu and the fact that the name on the front of the menu does not match the name of this fine dining establishment.  WTF?

 

 OK, we are hungry, we do stupid things when you are hungry, like order food that is on this menu.  I am sorry, I have no excuse.  We started out with the "Caribbean Fries".  This is a plate of reheated frozen fries that were drowned in a block of government cheese, at best!

 The dish was so disgusting that when I threw the fries to the swarming sea gulls, they allowed it to hit the water and watch it sink to the bottom of the sea like a stone!

BUT WAIT!  THERE'S MORE!  

To assure that this Belize Suck Fest, sucked even more, just out of shear comic relief, we decided to order the Belizian Tempura Shrimp.  More frozen fries, popcorn shrimp, and warm coleslaw.....Mmmmm.....and don't forget the secret sauce and shake paprika all over the place for color!

Well folks, they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.....I just want to warn you, that statement does not translate the same in Belize.  Love the country, love the diving, hate Banditos By The Bay - YOU SUCK